Spam
by AmberyAmber
Summary: Everybody hates Spam.


**Chapter One****  
**

He scrambled desperately through the forest, heart thudding in his chest. He _had_ to find them before it happened again. Thrusting his hind legs and shifting his weight upward, he lunged over a fallen log and huffed out air when his front paw connected with the tough earth below. He rushed on, feeling weaker with every step. Thick brambles sheltered by towering birch, oak and willow trees tugged at his ginger tabby pelt as if they were cats attempting to slow him and prevent him from reaching his destination. The tom hissed in frustration as it became a struggle to breath. When he reached an opening with a tall boulder lodged in the ground, his vision began to blur, yellow eyes growing more useless. Trembling, he scrambled up the side of the boulder.

"Not this again!" the tabby exclaimed in gasp as his muscles gave way.

Before he inhaled in one more breath, the tomcat collapsed onto the dusty surface.

**Ω Ω Ω**

Drooping green leaves of a willow quivered in the slight breeze that blew from the north, the small gusts whisking his peculiarly scrumptious scent away where it mingled with the smell of prey and foliage. One piece of prey, a curious mouse, scampered into the light of the afternoon sun muted by a patch of fluffy white clouds. Squeaking, it leaned onto its back legs and twitched its nose, scenting the air. It dropped back onto its four tiny paws once the creature assured itself that the forest granted it a safe adventure. It scrambled foreword a bit, only to halt sharply at the shrill and blissful chirp of a bird. A heartbeat later, it continued, unaware of the narrowed green eyes peering at it from the shadows.

Sliding through the thick undergrowth, a she-cat watched as it meandered around a willow's root that snaked out of the ground. Her spotted fur camouflaged her against the woods, brown blending with brown. Prowling foreword, just a tail-length separated her and the unsuspecting rodent. Slowly, the brown cat crouched down and shifted her weight to her haunches.

She pounced, a squeal piercing the air as her front forepaw slammed down on the creature's back. When she withdrew her paw, the mouse remained still. She inhaled the savory smell of recently killed, a growl rumbling in her throat as a new, loathsome scent entered her maw. _An intruder._ Abandoning the prey, she charged off.

Soon, the scent grew strong, and the brown-pelted cat picked up a new smell; a somewhat meaty tang that mingled with the putrid one. She pranced up a willow tree, claws digging into bark and propelling her upwards till she reached a low-hanging branch that sprouted from the trunk. Pouncing to another and then another limb, the spotted cat climbed her way to the highest branch that held her light weight.

After sturdying herself on the trembling branch, she scanned the surrounding area below from the wide stream that weaved through the trees and grasses, to the towering cliff side that loomed in the distance. Her sharp gaze trailed over the lump of bright ginger fur settled on a boulder; no doubt a cat. Her eyes quickly flickered back to the red, narrowing.

_Somebody taking a snooze on _my_ territory on _my_ rock? I don't think so._ She thought defiantly.

Jaw tightening, she hopped down to the base of the tree before rushing through the forest. Her chest heaved as her long legs sent her swiftly through the foliage and undergrowth, and the she-cat shorty approached the clearing where she spotted the ginger cat.

Silently as if stalking a mouse, the feline prowled foreword with light, carefully place paw steps and gazed carefully at the boulder where the intruder lounged. She angled her head upwards as she crouched in the shade of the rock. Perking her ears, she listened for any sign of the cat awakening; sharp breaths, stirring limbs and grumbles of exhausted. Just the blissful melodies of songbirds and the gentle babbling of water from a nearby brook greeted her. Intact, not even a single breath broke through the air.

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, she leaned back onto her hindquarters and sprang into the massive rock, landing without a noise beyond a few small pebbles that tumbled to the ground. Confident and curious, the she-cat approached the unmoving intruder.

The pelt she didn't recognize; a ruffled bright ginger with contrasting, darker tabby markings striping the cat's fur. Its broad shoulders suggested a tom. One thing that surprised the spotted cat was the still lungs and glazed-over eyes of the tomcat. Heart skipping a beat, the feline surged forward and sniffed the cat's matted fur, eyes widening at the odor she fortunately only witnessed once in her short life, and one she hoped she never would scent again; death.

"Great Stars of Lulz," she gasped aloud, prodding the cat's belly to make sure.

Fog swirled slowly around in his mind, clearing stunningly quickly. He blinked his eyes and inhaled sharply, breathing in musty air that accumulated around him and puffing it out a moment later as he gulped for purer air.

A screech of alarm broke through the air. His ginger fur bristled in return, wildly glancing around only to realize a brown cat crouched in a threatening at the very edge of the boulder he had collapsed on, her green eyes wild with shock.

Only a heartbeat passed before the cat shook her head and reclaimed her senses, returning from her crouch to standing straight. Flattening down his own fur, he glanced drowsily up at her as she shuffled foreword.

"Are you okay?" she questioned, her voice holding an authorizing but concerned tone.

"Yeah," huffed the tom.

"I'm Frogsong," she announced. "What's your name?"

"Spam, you know the kind that goes great with eggs? My name's actually Spam: It Goes Great with Eggs," The mumbled meow spilled awkwardly from his mouth.

The spotted feline flicked her tail. "Well, Spam, you weren't breathing a minute ago. You might've died and came back to life when I prodded you with my paw. But, you might've died and came back to life when I prodded you with my paw on _my_ territory." Frogsong commented, fluffing up her spotted brown fur.

"Oh,"

Spam could feel the she-cat green eyes follow him as he struggled to his paws, weak muscles trembling as he attempted to stand. Wobbling briefly before studying himself, he dipped down his head.

"What's your business here?" questioned Frogsong.

Spam glanced around sheepishly, sweeping his ringed tail back and forth behind him at a steady pace. "This is LawlClan, right?"

"It is," she nodded, "I'm LawlClan's deputy,"

His yellow gaze began to glow with relief. "You're _Coqui_? I've heard so much about you!"

Frogsong's green eyes narrowed. "Hush, don't mention that name unless we're in camp. Which I won't be bringing you to unless you have a good explanation of why you're on my territory,"

He opened his muzzle briefly, as if he were about to say something, but it quickly shut closed as he changed his mind. Respectfully, he dipped his once more. "I'm Spam, like the kind that fills your inbox with pointless things, actually. I do go great with eggs, but... Anyways, I die every time I'm not talked to for three hundred heartbeats, or five minutes, as you call them. Well, I die very often because I'm a loner, and I'm not around other cats." the ginger tabby explained.

"Go on,"

"And, well, I want to join LawlClan."

Bewilderment and surprise flickered in the brown cat's eyes as if Spam demanded for her to turn over all her **BACON** to him. Frogsong blinked her eyes a heartbeat later. "Huh, not many cats have wishes of joining LawlClan," she mused.

"Please," Spam pressed, waving his ringed tail in desperation, "I'll do whatever you guys want." When the deputy simply peered at him, emotion slipping from her green gaze, Spam let out a heart-wrenching sigh. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

Frogsong stared at the peculiar tom for many heartbeats, debating whether truth or lies emitted from the cat and if she should grant him permission to come to LawlClan's camp. _Perhaps he's a troll,_ she pondered_. We could milk him for lulz if he is, but if he isn't, he seems rather crazy. Not sure if he's the best cat to join our new Clan._

"Spam: It Goes Great with Eggs, I'll bring you to LawlClan camp, but if you can join or not is up to Spiderstar," the deputy finally agreed. "Good luck,"

Spam nearly collapsed to the boulder again as relief washed over him like a cool, refreshing rain. "Thank you, Frogsong," he breathed.

Maybe for one time in his life, things would be okay.

* * *

******Ω **Amber's Note **Ω**

**So, this is basically a multi-chapter fic that I'll update when a LawlClan member is having a bad day or feeling down, and especially if one's sick. It's the best I can do behind a monitor, and though little, I hope it helps. :D**

**This first chapter is for Coqui's Song, a friend who's feeling rather under the weather today. Tell her how wonderful she is and wish her well in reviews, if you would do that. **

**Get well soon, Coqui! **


End file.
